Amway Mad Libs!

One thing that has always struck me about the letters I get every day is that so many of them sound so similar. Uncannily similar, one might say, so that sometimes I say to myself, "Gee, it's a shame these distributors spent so much time composing this letter when the end result is practically something I've already read before! Wouldn't it be nice if they could just fill out a form and automatically send me a letter without going to all that trouble?" That's just the sort of thoughtful person that I am.

Well, now that I've finally learned java, I can proudly announce that I've come up with a terrific labor-saving device for distributors! Next time you feel like venting your spleen at me, just play a wacky game of Amway Mad Libs!

For people who didn't play this game as a kid, here's how it works. First, fill in the blanks provided below. Each blank is labelled with a part of speech that you should fill in. A noun is a person, place or thing. A verb is an action, like "run" or "smell". An adjective describes something, like "large" or "green" or "silly". (An unflattering adjective would be, for example, "ugly.") An adverb covers most words that end in "-ly". For trite phrases, think of any expression you've heard so many times that they lose their impact, like "A penny saved is a penny earned." Everything else should be self-explanatory, I hope.

When you have finished filling in the blanks, click the "compose letter" button, and your exquisitely crafted document will magically appear below.

If you think you have written something unusually silly or clever, I invite you to send it to me. You will need to copy your letter by selecting all the text and pressing on your keyboard, then paste it into a letter to me. Click here to start the letter.

Have fun!