THE PREACHER CALLETHa short play by Russell Glasser |
SCENE ONE
MONDAY AFTERNOON A bustling college campus. JOEL stands on a bench wearing a signboard saying "GOD HATES SINNERS" on the front, and "Are you saved... or condemned?" on the back. A briefcase lies on the bench next to him, containing highlighter pens. An open Bible lies on the bench next to the briefcase. He is shouting loudly, sometimes at no one in particular, sometimes at students who walk past. Most of these ignore him, but there is a small crowd of ten people who have stayed to listen. SID is one of the ten; he is a little dark skinned, giving him a vaguely East Indian appearance. The crowd is generally good humored and laughing at Joel’s expense. |
JOEL |
HECKLER #1 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #2 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #2 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #2 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #3 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #1 |
JOEL |
JODY |
JOEL |
SID |
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JOEL |
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JOEL |
SCENE TWO
MONDAY EVENING Jody and Sid sit in a dorm lounge together. The left side and the right side of the stage are separated by a wall with a large window and a door. On the right side is a hall with several doors leading to dorm rooms. Jody and Sid each have a textbook, a notebook, and a pencil. Jody is chewing on her pencil and looking annoyed. Sid is confidently writing down answers without a pause. |
JODY |
SID |
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SCENE THREE
TUESDAY AFTERNOON (Sid and Jody walk slowly across the campus. Stage left is completely covered, so that we do not see the side with Joel’s bench.) |
SID |
JODY |
SID |
JODY |
SID |
JOEL |
HECKLER #1 |
JOEL |
HECKLER #3 |
JOEL |
SID |
JODY |
JOEL |
HECKLER #1 |
JOEL |
KEVIN |
JOEL |
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JOEL |
KEVIN |
JODY |
SID |
JOEL |
KEVIN |
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SID |
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MEMBERS OF THE CROWD |
KEVIN |
JOEL |
JODY |
KEVIN |
SID |
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SID |
JOEL |
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SCENE FOUR
A FEW MINUTES LATER (Sid and Kevin are walking towards the dorm together.) |
SID |
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SID |
SCENE FIVE
TUESDAY EVENING (Jody in her dorm room. She lying face down on the bed, facing the audience, kicking her feet in the air, reading a magazine while Led Zeppelin plays. There is a knock at the door.) |
JODY |
KEVIN |
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(He exits, neglecting to close the door behind him. Jody stares after him for a minute, confused. Then she gets up, closes the door, and goes back to reading.)
SCENE SIX
WEDNESDAY, MID-MORNING (At the bench. No one is there, except for a few students who are hurrying off to class. After a few moments, Joel enters with his briefcase and begins meticulously setting up his "work station." A few moments later, Kevin enters as well.) |
KEVIN |
JOEL |
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SCENE SEVEN
WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON (The bench. There are twenty-eight people crowding around. Brother Joel and Kevin both stand on the bench. Oddly, nobody seems to be heckling or laughing today. In fact, many seem to enthusiastically agree with what is said.) |
JOEL |
JODY |
SUPPORTER #1 |
JODY |
KEVIN |
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SUPPORTER #2 |
JOEL |
JODY |
KEVIN |
JOEL |
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SUPPORTER #3 |
JOEL |
KEVIN |
SCENE EIGHT
WEDNESDAY EVENING (Jody’s Room. She is lying on her back, studying a history book. Green Day is playing on her sound system. There is a knock at the door.) |
JODY |
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SCENE NINE
A FEW MINUTES LATER (The student lounge. Sid is studying by himself. Jody bursts in.) |
JODY |
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SCENE TEN
THURSDAY, AROUND NOON (Kevin is preaching alone from the bench. Brother Joel is absent. Astoundingly, forty-six people crowd into the space around the bench. Near the back is Jody. She is looking at the spectacle with mixed horror and disgust.) |
KEVIN |
JODY |
KEVIN |
JODY |
KEVIN |
THE SUPPORTER FORMERLY KNOWN AS HECKLER #2 |
KEVIN |
JODY |
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KEVIN |
THREE PEOPLE IN CROWD |
JODY |
SCENE ELEVEN
THURSDAY AFTERNOON (The lounge. Jody comes running in on the right side of the stage, carrying her board. She runs up to the farthest door and grabs the handle with one hand as she pats her pocket with the other. Then she reaches down and pats both pockets.) |
JODY |
VOICE |
JODY |
SCENE TWELVE
THURSDAY, TWILIGHT Joel sits despondently on his bench. The crowd is gone now, of course. Jody skates in stage left and stops. She looks behind her, then leans against a tree, breathing heavily. Joel looks up, sees her, and smiles. |
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SCENE THIRTEEN
THURSDAY NIGHT (Jody’s room. The lights are out, the room is in shadow. The window is open. We hear a scraping noise. A hand appears on the window sill and Jody hauls herself up and climbs inside.) |
JODY |
KEVIN |
SCENE FOURTEEN
THE FINAL SCENE THURSDAY, LATE NIGHT The roof of the dorm. Six stories up. The rooftop is flat; there is no rail, only a row of raised brick all around, about shin high. Jody enters via some stairs, her hands on her head. Sid follows, still pointing the gun at her. Sounds like excellent fodder for an excitingly dramatic conclusion, doesn’t it? |
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SID |
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JOEL |
I hope you enjoyed my play!